Monthly Archives: November 2010

“Late again, Williams?”

The good thing about working in advertising – forget the long lunches, the exotic shoots, the opportunity to write eye-catching advertisements; these are all the stuff of urban legend – the really good thing is that most London agencies start work at 9.30am rather than the usual nine o’clock.

A 9.30 start is just late enough to miss the worst of the rush hour. It means that in theory you can enjoy a leisurely breakfast before setting off for work. In practice, it means you set the alarm to go off at the last possible moment and end up scoffing a Danish at your desk when you finally do arrive. But still.

I’ve worked full-time at three London agencies and have been lucky enough to haul myself in for a 9.30 start at all of them. The most recent was a place called DraftFCB.

It wasn’t always called DraftFCB. It used to be known as Draft, and before that it was called Draft London, and before that it was called Lowe Live, and before that it was called Lowe Direct. Today it’s known as FCBInferno.

But the agency I joined in 1997 was Lowe Direct.

Lovely place. Nice people. Good work. Linen hand-towels in the bathrooms. And a 9.30 start. How civilised.

Anyway, fast forward to 2007 and the latest name-change stroke re-branding stroke merger is announced. Draft is to merge with the famous old Madison Avenue agency FCB. (Foote Cone and Belding, or Foot Crushed and Bleeding, as no one called it.)

I can’t talk too much about the actual merger because there were, you know, issues. Headcount issues. We all had to sign something, and then most of us also had to leave and find other work. But before all that kicked off, we had one of those ‘this is going to be GREAT!’ pre-merger meetings.

There’d be an expanded client base.  Opportunities to deliver incisive strategic initiatives. Amalgamated and streamlined things. Shiny stuff, across the board. Shorter queues for coffee, because of the issues you won’t be allowed to talk about. And guess what! The agency we’re merging with start work half an hour later than we do!

Draftfcb’s spacious offices in Victoria. Note how spacious they were. All that space.

This was good news. This was almost unheard of. Everyone looked at each other with broad smiles and secret thoughts about how they’d spend their extra half-hour. 10.00am was very nearly lunchtime!

After the meeting we all headed back to our desks, or content creation modules as they were now known. There was general anxiety about the merger, tempered only by the welcome news of the later morning start.

“That extra half-hour’s going to make all the difference,” said someone. “Getting in at nine has always been a killer.” People nodded.

“Wait,” I said. “You’ve got it wrong. You’ll be starting half an hour later. Ten o’clock.” As soon as I said it out loud, doubts started to gather.

And sure enough, I was the one who’d got it wrong. The official start time of the agency I joined in 1998 was 9.00am. Apart from when I’d turned up early for pitches or for other genuine worky reasons, I’d been exactly half an hour late, every single day, for the previous 10 years. 

And the headline of this blog? That relates to an art director I used to work with, an amazing character called John Williams. Yep, he knows all the jokes.

He strolled into reception one morning at about 10.15am, bleary of eye and over of hung. Just as the lift doors were closing, the managing director jumped in and barked ‘Late again, Williams!’

Without missing a beat, he said ‘Yeah, so am I.’

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Filed under Ill-informed advertising observations, Stuff

Changing the world – one cliché at a time

I’m like a red rag to a plague when it comes to clichés. I avoid them like a horse! But I can’t help noticing them, especially when they seem to be encircling me like moths in a china shop.

One cliché that’s attracted my attention recently has been a variation on doing something one step at a time.

We all do things one step at a time, of course.  It’s generally accepted to be the ideal method of walking, for example. But this is something else. It’s an idea, a hope, an audacious reach-for-the-stars belief that one person can change the entire world by doing something in tiny, incremental steps. Sometimes it’s more than one person. Sometimes it’s a group, a cult, a small coterie of like-minded people, and sometimes it’s a humungous multi-global congomerate. I’m looking at you, Nike.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Match the aim with the means-type competition

So now you get the general idea, it’s time to see if you can match a website’s grandiose aim with its proposed oh-so-gradual means of achieving that aim. For example, if you think the aim of Overclocking the World will be achieved One sausage at a time, say so to yourself or write it down or something.

Unlike other competitions, there’s no 2nd or 3rd prize or indeed any prizes at all. And in another break with competition orthodoxy, I’m not really interested in your answers. Have a go anyway. You never know, you could get all of them right!!!

Chasing greatness One conversation at a time
Overclocking the world One slap at a time
Photoshopping the world One assertion at a time
Conquering the world One mall at a time
Curing pneumonia One sausage at a time
Taking back the world One Syrah at a time
Preserving the past One contract at a time
Testing the world One PC at a time
Creating the future One banana at a time
Making America skinny One pixel at a time

Until next week then. Poodle tip!

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Filed under Stuff